Resolution Q4

Ben Franklin’s 13 Virtues: Week 4, Q4

Resolution: “Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

Personal notes:

  • Determine key tasks this week;
  • Ignore unnecessary items;
  • Act with purpose.

Not gonna lie, writing this blog was difficult. Took a lot of Resolve to get here: One year commitment; How much to reveal each week; How honest to be; 5 am Monday morning; etcetera. To be honest, I wasn’t always completely honest; some things were better left unsaid, or said over quiet conversation. Most posts were transparent, some weren’t – especially Chastity. Chastity was best left unsaid, or said to my wife over quiet conversation. What I can say is this, when I started this project, I didn’t realize the Resolve it would require to get here, but I’m glad I committed to you, and I’m glad you had the Resolve to help me through. In fact, the only thing that kept me going was you. Thank you. Stating a goal publicly was one thing. Knowing folks were reading this was another.

Resolve to perform what you ought. Over the year, I realized this project was something I ought to do. I was holding onto too much anger from the past and became anchored to it. For me, it was the military; I defined myself in that mold and didn’t achieve my goals. It’s hard to write, but for the past 10 years I’ve felt guilt and anger. I was ashamed I wasn’t with my closest friends at the times of their greatest peril. I’ve shared this with a few folks, and a good friend once told me: “That right there is something you need to just get over.” He was right but, until this year, I didn’t have a framework to get over it.

Quitting is easy. I’ve thought that many times. I’ve thought about quitting this blog. Every other week I’d say: no one’s reading this nonsense; who cares if I don’t finish; half of it is crap anyway. The problem with Quitting is that it is easy, and it feels great in the short term. Quit something once and it’s terribly easy to quit again; it becomes a drug of choice. I’m not talking about quitting a miserable job/relationship/situation, I’m talking about quitting ‘the good’ — where you give up on the good in your life because it becomes difficult. Stray onto that darker path and it’s increasingly difficult to get right. Quitting becomes subconscious; self-destructive decisions prompt others to quit you.

Resolve is a hard one, especially compared to the short term rewards of giving up, but if you choose to persevere, there are rich rewards. Perform without fail what you resolve. I view this year as one of the most rewarding I have had in a very long time. Resolving to take a year of reflection has truly helped put a lot of this pain behind me and helped gain new appreciation, and love, for friends, family and life. Getting there was not easy; but I can say without fail, I’m glad I did it. Everything has changed for the better: not over-confident, not over-sure, not perfect, but grounded, happier and in a place to navigate life without self-destructing. For me, the key to Resolve was making it public, finding support, and forcing repeat. Repeat until it becomes habit, and Resolution becomes Disposition.

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Next Week

Ben Franklin’s 13 Virtues: Week 5, Q4

Frugality: “Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; waste nothing.

Personal notes:

  • Only purchase necessary items;
  • Be cognizant of cost;
  • Give special attention to Christmas presents.

Great to keep this one in mind as the Holidays approach. Drinks, dinners, presents, decorations, trees: the list goes on. Focus on being generous and charitable; don’t focus on buying the biggest and shiniest. 

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