Cleanliness Q3

Ben Franklin’s 13 Virtues: Week 10, Q3

Cleanliness: “Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes or location.

Personal notes:

  • I feel worse when unclean;
  • Clutter leads to frustration;
  • Cleanliness calms the mind.

My laundry pile slowly consumed the room. Like The Blob, it kept growing. Fortunately it didn’t eat anyone, but each time I looked at it, I felt physical pain. The pain was exhausting. I had to tackle the monster – so I killed my laundry pile (just kidding, I took it downstairs to the laundry room). Did you know Entourage’s Johnny Drama killed The Blob in 1988? Awesome, right? Anyway, I took my laundry downstairs. It was heavy as sin and I kept banging my knuckles on the door – add anger to my lack of motivation.

My laundry process is pretty simple: dump everything in, pour in soap, pray the wife’s delicates aren’t in there (talk about a scary movie when that happens). Done. But I’m not done. I leave and go back to work, but the damn alarm goes off. Minutes pass in seconds. So before I know it, I’m back in the basement laundry room, lugging the beast from washer to dryer, then dryer to basket. I hate the laundry room, the fluorescent lights blink like an old Michael Myers movie. I do love the feeling of warm clothes though – fresh out of the dryer. The only downside is you have to fold them. I hate folding them, but I hate wrinkly clothes more; the horror.

Once I start folding though, I forget I hate folding. It’s not too bad really. Your mind gets quiet, which is nice. So I enjoy folding, which takes longer than usual because one of my wife’s scrubs attracted every piece of lint known to man. Like a Stephen King novel where laundry gained the radioactive, super power to attract lint and people lose their minds trying to get it clean. No kidding, beady, white lint balls were everywhere. I had to get my ax, I mean lint brush.

I had to use the lint brush twice to make sure I got everything. I hate it in the movies when they don’t shoot the bad guy twice and he comes back to life. Lint is like that. Besides, you feel really good when the bad guy is dead and all the lint is gone. And in the end, I did feel really good. The dreadful sense that something was wrong disappeared. It wasn’t quite like surviving the zombie apocalypse, but it was pretty close. Maybe that’s why everyone is so miserable in the zombie apocalypse, everything is so dirty. Cleanliness, that’s the ticket, anything less is just too scary.

Happy (early) Halloween


Next Week

Ben Franklin’s 13 Virtues: Week 11, Q3

Tranquility: “Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

Personal notes:

  • Learn to accept certain behaviors from people, you’re not going to change them;
  • It’s not cancer, it’s not bankruptcy;
  • Focus on what is in our control.

It’s 545am Monday, my 2 year old is already screaming and yelling. No wonder people hate Mondays. Tranquility: “be not disturbed by crying toddlers.”